you really don’t forget your first love. in the fall it will be 3 years since we walked away from everything. I still think about you. even after all this time… I read that your strongest memories are related to smell. I still remember the way you smell, the way your kisses tasted, the way it felt to be in love with someone who truly cared about me as person. you’re the only person who was my friend and my love. I shouldn’t have let you go. but I did. and there’s no going back. ever. I love him. but he’s just not you. and I don’t know if I can settle for someone that doesn’t even compare to you when you were everything I ever wanted.
i feel like i haven’t tumbled in forever… too many things going on at once. every relationship i’ve been in, i’ve questioned. you’re the longest. i’ve stayed with you for a year and four months now. and i’m questioning things. you can tell. he has everything i could ever want and he finally admitted to wanting to pursue something with me if i wasn’t with you. i just can’t think about walking away from you. you fixed my heart and i don’t know how i could just walk away from everything we’ve been through together. i know all the bad things about you now, and i still love you. you fixed me so how can i break you? everyone is telling me what to do. and i’m pretty much a complete wreck right now. and with everything else in my life being crazy i shouldn’t be worried about my love life. there’s more important things happening than sillyness around this.
Apr 6
it’s always the same thing.
(Source: walkthistightrope, via the-lies-end-here)
Mar 17
I need to stop reaching for something that isn’t there anymore.
(Source: laurenlegary, via andsheisalwayswithyounow)
Mar 17
I go out all night and don’t really think about you but then when it quiets down and the music doesn’t drown out my thoughts you’re the one on my mind.
sometimes you don’t even txt me goodnight. sometimes you don’t txt me until after dinner. but you still promise that you love me the same. I don’t think I believe that. and I don’t love you the way I used to. I saw him the other day and my heart stopped. you don’t know that part of me. just like I don’t know things about you. but he changed me. without him, there would be no you and me. cause I wouldn’t have needed someone to fix me. I love you so much for that but I’m so tired of feeling like we have to fight to make this work.
